Dear Diary,
This is a big chapter in my life. I sense it. It's either going to make or brake me. Its either going to destroy me and make me go insane. or its going to make me a stronger woman.
Dear Diary,
I can't keep up, as hard as I try to act like I can. I'm so lost in this game. It's making me sick to my stomach. I get so over whelmed, with any and everything. I can't have peace, and if so it comes unexpectedly. I'm still grateful. Today in private I was told that I'm mean and nasty to others around me, but I had no Idea that has now become of me. A stranger approached me and told me I have a dark spirit, but under that dark spirit is light, love care and greatness. She read me like a book. I've never seen this person a day in my life. Who is she and why just in that spit second did she come up to me and hold me and said I want to help cleanse you. She told me that there is love, then the second it is there it's gone. She told me I loved someone 100% but that person didn't even love me 50% of the way. But she said there is good. And there is good in me, and it will one day turn around.
I want so many things and they seem to be more and more unimportant than myself. I can only help myself by trying to help others. but in the end as what I expected its only going to hurt me. It always hurts me the most.
Dear Diary,
I'm being eaten alive.
Dear Diary,
I can't help but to think about you everyday. It's like your dead but in the back of my head I know your well and live. Maybe if I tell myself that it will help me get over you. I fear it won't. Not until you are. God forbid. I only want to see you, and talk to you once again. Maybe even hold you once more.
But this is only in the back of my head.
Dear diary,
I like to think that I'm yours when I'm not.
Dear diary,
Most cry for whatever reasons that brings them sadness, joy & or hate.
I cry because of my sorrow.
Dear diary,
It's weird because what I've come to realize is that, I love you. I still love you I will always love you (too). Though you were my first one, my only one. Ill never forget how you use to make me feel. And now though that there has been others that have come after you, and I even fell in love with him too. but even though my heart has now been completely shattered. I realized that you still care. you still love me. You will always love me. Yeah you were my first love and broke my heart too, but at lest you had the decency to say I'm sorry. He, Mr number two didn't give two fucks.
Dear diary,
This is a big chapter in my life. I sense it. It's either going to make or brake me. Its either going to destroy me and make me go insane. or its going to make me a stronger woman.
Dear Diary,
I can't keep up, as hard as I try to act like I can. I'm so lost in this game. It's making me sick to my stomach. I get so over whelmed, with any and everything. I can't have peace, and if so it comes unexpectedly. I'm still grateful. Today in private I was told that I'm mean and nasty to others around me, but I had no Idea that has now become of me. A stranger approached me and told me I have a dark spirit, but under that dark spirit is light, love care and greatness. She read me like a book. I've never seen this person a day in my life. Who is she and why just in that spit second did she come up to me and hold me and said I want to help cleanse you. She told me that there is love, then the second it is there it's gone. She told me I loved someone 100% but that person didn't even love me 50% of the way. But she said there is good. And there is good in me, and it will one day turn around.
I want so many things and they seem to be more and more unimportant than myself. I can only help myself by trying to help others. but in the end as what I expected its only going to hurt me. It always hurts me the most.
Dear Diary,
I'm being eaten alive.
Dear Diary,
I can't help but to think about you everyday. It's like your dead but in the back of my head I know your well and live. Maybe if I tell myself that it will help me get over you. I fear it won't. Not until you are. God forbid. I only want to see you, and talk to you once again. Maybe even hold you once more.
But this is only in the back of my head.
Dear diary,
I like to think that I'm yours when I'm not.
Dear diary,
Most cry for whatever reasons that brings them sadness, joy & or hate.
I cry because of my sorrow.
Dear diary,
It's weird because what I've come to realize is that, I love you. I still love you I will always love you (too). Though you were my first one, my only one. Ill never forget how you use to make me feel. And now though that there has been others that have come after you, and I even fell in love with him too. but even though my heart has now been completely shattered. I realized that you still care. you still love me. You will always love me. Yeah you were my first love and broke my heart too, but at lest you had the decency to say I'm sorry. He, Mr number two didn't give two fucks.
Dear diary,
I have not yet figured out what I want, I know what I want. But I'm still unsure.
I want so much, I want so much out of people and life. and that's so hard to ask for these days. I only find myself being disappointed only cause I expected so much from you.
Dear diary,
I often think of things that could have been, but in reality will never be.
Dear diary,
I know places. I know places we can go. There is a place there is a place. Coming home, come home and unfold bay.
Dear diary,
He will only know what my words in my diary really mean. You others will just wonder and glance over each word with your eyes. While he will know every meaning.
Dear diary,
Sometimes I still need you.
Dear diary,
In a long time, In the past 20 years I had an amazing time. Everything was perfect. I'm glad I went. I was content. I was worry free. I was ok with where I was, and who I was with. For that I am thankful. With a new year in front of us I want to remain positive and refrain from hate and negativity. I've come to realize I'm in this place for a reason. I must go to grow. I must fail and restart again to learn and eventually know.
Maybe I'll be graced with this presence again, maybe I wont. but I'll never forget it.
Dear diary,
There's a new year arriving which means a new relationships will be built new love with be grown, new transitions will be made for some of us. It's surprising to me that just a year ago I was in love with you. I had no clue what pain was about. I didn't even care. So now, a year later as I bring this new year in; I want to bring it in with an open heart. I want to bring it in with an open mind. I want so many things out of this year only because everything that we wish for might not be granted.
- These are my real diaries.
P.b